OK. So I didn't set this blog up early enough. I will do a little recap since this is my 4th day on the HCG program.
DAYS 1 & 2: LOAD DAYS
Fri.(5/22/09-193.6lbs.) & Sat. (5/23/09-194.4lbs.)
Now, let me first say that I have not weighed myself in YEARS, so this was one of the hardest things for me to do-to face the music! It really freaked me out to see I weighed this much, even though I am 5'10"-see there, excuses, excuses. However, it was the FIRST step toward victory and the ONLY way to get there! My goal is 157lbs. and for me, that's very nice, normal and thin. I do want to also say that, for me, this is just not about looking good again in a bikini. It's about growing old and seeing my children & grandchildren! Playing and enjoying life with them. Our society is so about what FEELS good. Well, guess what? That has earned me 30+ extra unwanted pounds and a lower quality of life! Saying no to the wrong desires of the flesh makes you an over comer. We just don't have to have everything we want.
I have also contemplated how embarrassing it would be to put this weight out there for all to see on the internet through this blog, but like my friend, Bonnie, this is NOT just about me. I want to share this victorious journey with all those around me! Shared joy is double joy! So, here it is for all to see. Freak out and then keep going.
LOAD- No, I did not do it healthfully. I also found it is not quite as fun to eat like this when you have to; although, don't get me wrong, no one had to force feed me! I was a little nuts about the 1.2 weight gain between load days, but my dear friend, Bonnie Shores, said don't worry about it-it will come off in the first couple days of the VLCD (very low-calorie diet).
Let's see...
BREAKFAST: sourdough french toast w/ cherry topping and whip cream, eggs, bacon and biscuits at Cracker Barrel.
LUNCH: Chick-fil-A sandwich (a lunch favorite of mine) waffle fries, 1/2 & 1/2 tea w/ lemonade and don't forget the milkshake.
DINNER: PIZZA with all my favorite toppings at a great place here in Athens with their signature strawberry stromboli for dessert...
YOU GET THE PICTURE-No need to even go into the second load day! The weird thing that was really eye opening for me at Cracker Barrel (and pretty much, everywhere) was that here I was eating all this food for the purpose of "loading," but everyone around me was definitely overweight and eating all that, normally! We Americans have got to get it together! Disgusting!

DAY 3: 195.4lbs.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Okay, yet again, hating the weight gain from the previous last day of loading but remembering Bonnie's words to chill. So, my first day on the very low calorie diet (VLCD) was not easy. Spats of hunger, doubts of "can I really do this for 40 days?", and all the things I couldn't eat seem to taunt me. I have been amazingly aware of the fact that food has been such a source of entertainment for me and an emotional outlet. Something to be happy about? Eat! Stressed out or sad or angry about something? Eat! I want God to be my TOTAL source!
Prayed much and thanked God for my amazing hubby who is such a support and makes me laugh-he is my GIFT from God! So, I texted Bonnie and told her I am half hungry but FULLY DETERMINED! Like my other HCG friend, Todd, told me,"It's not okay to be hungry but it IS okay to not be totally full."
NO (few minute) dish is going to be as satisfying as being thin (forever!) again will be. This is a means to the end!

DAY 4: 192lbs.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Wahoo!!! 3.4lbs. lost! I am pumped today. Definitely was so happy to see this number as this is my second day on the VLCD. Breakfast for two days now has been the Apple Crisp recipe off the HCG Recipes website. Makes a whole 8x8 pan and very filling, especially with two cups of coffee. Lunch was mahi mahi in tin foil w/ lemon juice and spices and 2 1/2 sliced cukes w/ Bragg's Apple Cider vinegar and Bragg's seasonings (great blend of seasonings I got at Kroger).
Happy Memorial Day today! We were invited to our friends' house for a cookout. My girlfriend, Andrea, is a great cook, so this was going to be a challenge. Prepared lean, ground buffalo and mixed it w/ two tomatoes pureed with fresh basil, oregano and spices. Took it with me and had my first filling meal. It was so fresh tasting! Difficult to see and smell all that food but very mentally satisfying to overcome the flesh and just say no! Plus, I tried to not tempt my eyes with it so much. Me and my gorgeous, gift from God, 3 yr. old, Lily Grace, pushed each other on the swing set while everyone else was chowing down-great time with her and no torture for me! Key was to come with my prepared food. As I am blogging now, I have the HCG under my tongue. It will cause you to salivate alot at first but I have found it helps if I try to relax my tongue more and I always set my kitchen timer 15 minutes so I can hear it go off anywhere I may be in the house. Had an orange julius tonight-very yummy and satisfies a sweet tooth as did my yesterday evening strawberry smoothie. Discovered a tasty, fizzy, get-you-by treat is a very cold liter of mineral water, lemon juice and vanilla creme stevia. Plus, I like the extra mental boost of the pretty, green glass bottle-I'm weird like that:) OK-better go to sleep so hunger doesn't settle in. May have a warm cup of tea to "ward it off" before it has a chance to take hold. Nite-nite!